


The day after gazpacho

by Writer156



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Canon Compliant, Forgive Me, Gazpacho Soup, Gen, It may be trash, My First Fanfic, Originally Posted on Tumblr, POV First Person, Platonic Relationships, Post-Season/Series 01, Set around seasons 4-5, bros being bros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-12-14 08:45:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11779551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writer156/pseuds/Writer156
Summary: “Look, I know you want this stuff gone for good, but what if we have a food shortage? What if we meet a new life form that takes the rest of our food away? We need this as a last resort.”Rimmer refused to meet my eye but nodded. “Only as a last resort.”“Thank you.”“Let’s never speak of this again.” “Agreed.”We all agreed. All three of us. But Kryten wasn’t there then.(Originally posted 2 December 2015 on Tumblr)





	The day after gazpacho

“No, no, not there! That way!”  
“Come on Goalpost Head give me a break!”  
“You had one two minutes ago.” 

I sighed. After the double Rimmer incident we only thought it fair all reminders of gazpacho soup were hidden away. But who knew the ship had so many cans?  
“Oh who cares lets just shove it all in the airlock.” Rimmer flopped to the ground in exasperation. I dropped my parcel and headed towards the hologram.

“Look, I know you want this stuff gone for good, but what if we have a food shortage? What if we meet a new life form that takes the rest of our food away? We need this as a last resort.”  
Rimmer refused to meet my eye but nodded. “Only as a last resort.”  
“Thank you.”  
“Let’s never speak of this again.” “Agreed.” 

We all agreed. All three of us. But Kryten wasn’t there then. 

 

~~~

“What are we having tonight Krytie?” I followed him into the kitchen. After a long day of disobedience training, I needed a curry. 

“Well, I was scoping out the food deck when I saw this huge pyramid of soup cans just lying around in the corner of this dark alleyway. Would you think of that? Just lying around, neatly stacked in one pile, completely isolated.”  
Rimmer tensed up, his expression turning to broken glass. It was then I realised exactly what he’d found.  
“It was almost as if someone purposely hid it so it wouldn’t be found.” The mechanoid continued. 

“Uh, Kryten, maybe we could have something else tonight? Maybe, chicken vindaloo?” I glanced over at my holographic companion.  
“Nonsense! You have vindaloo every night, what’s wrong with a change?”  
“Yeah Monkey breath,” Cat pranced over to the kitchen counter. “Metal head here knows what he’s doing. So what are we having?” He grabbed the can. “Gazpacho - oh.”  
“What’s this?” Kryten snatched the can. “Gazpacho soup? But I’ve just heated it up! Everyone knows gazpacho soup is served -” 

Rimmer flipped his chair. “Right, that’s it.”  
“But sir,” He was out of the room before Kryten could finish his sentence. I sighed. “Mr Lister?” The mechanoid trudged towards me. “Have I done something wrong?”  
“No, Kryten. Well, yeah, in a way.” I leaned on the table. “Just, don’t bring this up in front of Rimmer. He’s had some bad experiences with gazpacho soup.”  
He blinked. “But, wouldn’t that give you more of a reason to mock him?” “Kryten?!”  
“What? I’m only following your disobedience training.” 

“Believe me, if I had my way Goalpost Head would never live it down.” Cat sauntered towards the bunk bed. “But Monkey Breath made us promise to keep quiet.”  
“Now we’ll never speak of this again, okay?” I placed my hand on his shoulder. The mechanoid tilted his head.  
“Affirmative. Refilling ‘Gazpacho soup’ under N for ‘never speak of’ and B for ‘blackm-‘"  
“Kryten.”  
“Oops, sorry.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was the first fanfic I ever put online, and it was for a Red Dwarf 500 words or less competition with the prompt "Gazpacho Soup." Since that episode only had three of the well known cast in it, I thought it would be interesting to see how Kryten would react to the topic being brought up again. If that makes any sense. 
> 
> I thought I might as well post it here, so voila.


End file.
